Heartbreak: pain could be exhaled

How to deal with breakups


Reflect on what happened. Do not just numb the pain and pretend it did not shatter your world into pieces. What better way to connect to yourself than meditation? Meditation has an even greater effect when you find yourself in hardship. Difficulties mobilise all our resources. We can concentrate a lot more and therefore enter into a deeper level of self-awareness. Whoever left you, no matter how painful it is, whatever happened to you, at that moment: relax, inhale, exhale, and give yourself time to get back into your skin. You can try a guided meditation (there are plenty online) or you can design one for yourself. There is no right and wrong.


Other people’s stories and ways to deal with life’s adversities could get you out of your pain and back into the world. It’s the perfect time to nurture your soul and enrich yourself with books, movies, art, and culture. Go to art exhibition, concerts, theatre plays; read those classics that you have always wanted to but never found the time; watch IMDb's top-rated movies or some international film festival selection; embrace any form of cultural experiences and take care of your broken soul. The only thing you should be mindful of are sad songs and romantic comedies. Instead of helping they might actually trigger painful emotions.


Sweat it off! There is no better way to get you out of your head and into your body than sport. Any kind. Anyhow. Anywhere! Be it zumba or yoga, or maybe pole dancing, kickboxing, running, swimming… Whatever floats your boat. Physical activity is quite beneficial to deal with emotional pain and could also help you regulate your appetite and sleep cycle. So put on your sport outfit and just move!


Acquire new skills. Learn a language or start a cooking course, sailing course, graphic design course, any type of course. Keep yourself busy with fruitful activities. Relationships do take time and now that all this time and space became available again, you better fill it up smartly and use it to your benefit. Imagine: if you only invest 2 hours per week to study anything, in a year you would have invested 104 hours into something. You would actually be able to do that thing on a maybe decent level. Turn this bloody heartbreak into your golden age of self-development and growth!


Call your friends. Meet your neighbours. Go out for after work drinks with colleagues. Talk to strangers in the metro if you want. Just do not isolate yourself in your loneliness. Open up to the world and start interacting. Attend public events, friendly gatherings, or birthday parties. But do not rush into dating yet. Give yourself the time to heal properly before hopping again onto the roller-coaster of dating. Try to meet people without any hidden agenda in mind and just enjoy the social interaction.


Write, paint, or find a creative way to express yourself. Start a blog or a journal, maybe try poetry writing, recording podcasts or videos. Maybe doing graphic designs. Any form of artistic expression would do the job. It will help you to digest those hard emotions stuck in your heart and you might actually discover a talent or a passion you had no clue about. By all means, creativity is one of the best ways to approach the million problems life throws at us daily. So now’s the time to unleash your artistic genius!


The best way to help yourself is to help others. Every time I have approached someone with the intention to help them, I ended up being helped much more in the end. It just works! So find a meaningful cause that you care about or volunteering opportunities in your city and get involved. And by doing all this, you never know whom you will cross path with along the way.

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, it will destroy you. Gospel of Thomas

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